The Adult children of Divorce Series

Divorce definition: separate or dissociate (something) from something else, typically with an undesirable effect.

I was born into a broken marriage. My mother would often say that my name (which means God’s answer) was given to me in the hopes that I would bring restoration to an already volatile relationship. Unfortunately that was not the case, because years down the line divorce was imminent. I don’t recall witnessing my mother’s abuse first hand, maybe I was too young or subconsciously blocked it out, but I have no visual context of that part in my past. However, what I do remember, are the scars I carried. Scars that may not have been physical, but have certainly left a permanent mark.

The emotional scars of rejection, have translated into continued feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem, which impacted my childhood and later carried into my adult years too. Emotional scars may seem trivial or insignificant on the surface, but are extremely detrimental to one’s psyche. It goes without saying that this topic is very sensitive and extremely close to my heart, which is the motivation behind me beginning this series.

There are so many facets to the effects of children/adults who have lived life from this lens, and this series will be highlighting a few of the struggles I have lived through and continue to struggle with on a daily basis. Studies say that Children and adolescents of divorced parents have shown increased levels of depression, anxiety, and psychosomatic symptoms. During and after the separation process, adolescents are more likely to use and abuse substances, act out, and display behavioral problems. They may experience lower self-esteem and wellbeing and often have trouble at school – academically and with peers.

As an adult who suffered from all these symptoms my desire is to shed light on something that many people may not know or fully understand. Divorce doesn’t just negatively impact parents but has far reaching negative emotional and mental effects on children too. My passion is to help adults who struggle with the effects of divorce experienced as a child (just like me) by giving you tips and encouragement that may help you make sense of it all. Remember, you are not the cause of your parents’ separation.

Take the journey to healing with me, as we delve into this series for the next couple of weeks and bring restoration into separation.