Looking Through A Different Lens- Correcting The Lie Of Low Self Esteem!
For as long as I can remember, I used my weaknesses as an excuse to remain in my comfort zone. I needed to remain in the background, hidden from plain sight. I convinced myself that if nobody heard, saw, or even noticed me, then my flaws could remain hidden too. This naïve view of my reality was altered when I finally came to terms with the fact that, despite my best efforts, I simply couldn’t live incognito forever. I had to show up for work, I was compelled to interact with my family and I had to voice my opinion on important, and not so important matters. So, a life of stealth was just not in the cards for me regardless of my intense desire to be a hermit all my life. I also started to realize, that the more time I spent trying to hide my weaknesses, the more damaged my self-esteem became.
I remember that between the ages of 5 and 12, I was very confident, almost unapologetic, low self-esteem was not even a concept in my pure juvenile mind. I was the ‘beezneez’ and no one could convince me otherwise. It wasn’t until I started my high school years that the perception, I had of myself changed drastically. I went from a self-assured adolescent to a super insecure teenager overnight. The girl who had no care about body issues became a target of body shaming, which in hindsight contributed to some of my biggest insecurities. I became shy to the core —. eye contact was hard, and conversation was even harder. I could not look at myself in the mirror without cringing or crying. I quite literally hated the way that I looked and as a result I was convinced that everything else about me was wrong too.
So, why the change? How can a super confident tween turn into a depressed and self-absorbed young adult?
Simple, I began looking at myself through a fractured lens and as a result my whole view of life and self was distorted. Don’t get me wrong, this is not an anomaly. Low self-esteem is not isolated just to me or only people who have struggled with mental health issues, it is a social scrouge that affects most people in some shape or form. The fall of mankind has exposed all our weaknesses and has essentially fractured the original lens we used to view ourselves and the world around us. All we now see are our flaws, insufficiency, and mistakes. That’s why it seems as though all our efforts in overcoming low self-esteem are fruitless.
So, there is clearly a problem that needs fixing here, what could the solution possibly be? The simple yet extraordinary answer- God.
There is a vast contrast between how God intended us to live our lives and the way we are currently living. When I study God’s Word, I found the view of humanity quite complex. Surprisingly, there is no biblical category for a person who does not love himself or herself. Instead, humanity is portrayed as naturally selfish. We are never told to love ourselves more because this is not a problem known to humanity. When Jesus was asked to define the greatest commandment, he told the Pharisees that the greatest command had two parts, including a directive to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39).
I don’t think this means that we all love ourselves correctly, as God does. But I do think that Jesus was alluding to our natural tendency to put our own needs and desires ahead of the needs of others. When we don’t keep this innate selfishness in check, it manifests itself in one of two ugly ways: arrogance or insecurity. It may surprise you to think of insecurity as a distortion of self-love, but like arrogance, it is self-focused and self-obsessing in nature.
Many Christians mislabel insecurity as humility, but there is a significant difference between the two. A humble person does not spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about his or her own flaws. God’s Word challenges us to rearrange our hearts’ desires. Instead of spending most of our time contemplating our flaws and worrying about other people’s opinions of us, we need to love God and our neighbor.
What does low self-esteem look like?
Since we now know that low self esteem could be a form of pride rather than humility, lets see what false beliefs we may have normalized as a self-check in helping us identify what needs correcting:
False beliefs behind low self-worth:
- When I fail at something, I feel lousy about myself.
- When others don’t approve of me, I can’t seem to get over it.
- Sometimes it feels like I’ll never measure up.
- I’m so hopeless.
These beliefs are contrary to Scripture and will prevent your self-worth from growing. The only way to truly deal with these feelings is to challenge them with God’s truth:
• Psalm 27:3 – You Can Be Confident Despite Your Circumstance
• Psalm 139:13–14 – Your Worth Is In Christ
• Isaiah 32:17 – Confidence Comes From Peace & Righteousness
• Philippians 1:6 – Place Your Confidence In Christ, Not Your Own Works
The Word of God is life. I have seen the transformative power of God’s truth against the lies I have absorbed for years. This however is not a one-time occurrence but a continuous practice. If it took you years to absorb the lie, you need to take just as much intentional efforts and time to demolish the lie, take in and BELIEVE the truth.
God makes us worthy of love and saved us through Christ Jesus. If the God of the universe is for us, then who can be against us? (Romans 8:31) Human criticism does not hold weight when compared to God’s truth about us. God wants us to see ourselves through His lens and no other. Through God’s lens, we can see beyond our weaknesses and fear into our real identity.
Whenever I think less of myself, I quickly pick up God’s lens to have a clearer view of my identity. My true identity was stamped permanently on my heart, and this change ignited my self-esteem.
So when you step out today and the world’s loud standard is chipping away at your self-worth, remember to look at life through the correct lens (God’s lens) in order to get a glimpse into your true identity.
References:
https://www.boundless.org/…/the-surprising-truth-about…/
