You Need A Tribe! -

Sometimes our emotions will overwhelm us and despite our best efforts, we might fall off the map a bit. In my case, my extreme dips (where intense feelings of rejection, low self-esteem, and worthlessness creep in) my go to is to automatically isolate and crawl up into a ball of misery and depression. In hindsight, it’s actually at that point that I should ask for help, reach out to someone who can help keep me from sinking into a deeper state of despondency.

Oftentimes, isolation can worsen episodes of mental illness. It is frightening how the brain can work against you in your most vulnerable moments. It often offers confirmation bias of your worst insecurities, causing you to suffer from anxiety, depression and other conditions.

Once I overcame these debilitating moments, I realized the significance of having a point person/people in your mental health support network. People who will be the ones to serve as the liaison between you and everyone else when you dip, but also people who serve as your mental anchor. Reminding you of what is true and what is used as a lie to keep you in mental bondage.

In my life, these people are my mother and sister- I call them my Favorites! My favorites have been on this intense mental rollercoaster with me and have stuck it out amidst the good, the bad and the ugly (and it’s been ugly…A LOT of times). I can with the outmost certainty confirm that without their consistent love and support throughout my life, chances are I would have died. They are both my biggest blessing from God, I truly am privileged to call them my tribe.

Why Is Support Important?

Community is God’s idea. He abides in fellowship with Himself as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Out of this fellowship, God is complete and without deficit. Creating humans, however, established a people to love and a place to pour His goodness. He models what it looks like to have a tribe or community that encourages and intercedes for us before we encounter it in others.

So already we see that the community/fellowship blueprint is embedded in our make-up by emulating our Creator.
God intended for us to need each other not only for procreation, success, companionship etc. but most importantly to draw strength from one another through support and encouragement. The success of our strength lies in the next person and never in our own ability, that’s mind boggling!

He designed Christ’s body of believers to function as one, with multiple parts. He also knew the relational challenges we would have. He knew how we would want to withdraw in fear and anxiety about the potential of pain and rejection. And He knew that the enemy would use this fear as one of the reasons to justify living disconnected or in isolation.

Take me for example, I am not a very sociable individual. I veer on the introverted ‘spectrum’ not because I don’t like people but rather it takes a lot of energy to try and manage my mental distortions in public rather than in private. So isolation will always be my preference. However, God, my favorites as well as newly established companions and friends are now slowly helping me recalibrate this preference one support system at a time.

Let’s face it, I will never be dubbed ‘the most sociable person’ in the room, but I am challenged daily to be a little more open to receiving love and support through fellowship designed by God for us to thrive. So, in a nutshell we require God, and we need one another, It takes a level of openness that can take a while to become comfortable with, but it is very worthwhile in the end.

Know Each Person’s Strengths

So, you’ve found a tribe, but you are not sure how to relate to each person without overloading them?
Not all the people in my mental health support network have the same strengths. My mother, for instance, is fantastic with advice on how to proceed in my life, but not great at being extra sympathetic, because she may not always understand my mental state.. My sister is best at reading my mood -she always almost knows when I’m approaching or experiencing a dip and acts as a buffer for me in our mutual circles by allowing me the time-out I need to be able to function again.

It helps to know what each of these people is best at, so that we do not burden our support system with unrealistic expectations of the kind of help they should give us. In your life, try to do the same. It will not only put you in a better position to get the support you truly need, but also put the people in your mental health support network in the best positions to help without feeling they are responsible for each time you experience a dip.

There’s no way around it: Having a mental illness humbles you and highlights your vulnerabilities. Surround yourself with good people, those who invest in you as much as you invest in them. Seek mentorships with those who are a few steps ahead of you. don’t be afraid of that process, including the steps of therapy, medication, and self-care. Healing takes time, but you’re worth every moment.

Your days of suffering in silence are over, go out there and find your tribe. There is a community of people that God created just for YOU! They are waiting to help you carry your burden, but most importantly Jesus is waiting to remove your burden completely, trust Him. So, on days when isolation looks more enticing than community, remember that you were never meant to walk this path alone, and that your wound is designed to draw you closer to the Great Physician.
Christ makes it all worth it!