Divinely Approved
Don’t you ever wish you could walk around living life with a standing ovation? Everywhere you went, everything you did, you had people standing beside you clapping, cheering, and approving of you? I know I do. A life of people pleasing has somehow become the norm amongst all of us. In social standards, being validated by people seems to be more important than self-validation.
As someone who struggled DEEPLY with self-doubt, I was led to write on this subject today. This piece isn’t written from a vantage point of someone who has it all figured out. On some days I still struggle with overcoming self-rejection, but it’s a work in progress, and God is helping me get better at it daily. We get so wrapped up in wanting, sometimes needing people’s approval to feel whole, that we forget an important truth. We are imperfect beings, but we serve a VERY perfect God, and guess what? He approves of us.
Sticking Out and Hating it
My self-doubt stems from childhood rejection. As a result, I grew up second guessing every thought, idea, suggestion that would enter my mind. I would avoid sharing my opinion or even speaking up, because I truly believed that I had zero value to add to any conversation, my two sense was nonsense, or so I believed. It didn’t help that some of these self-depreciating thoughts were validated by the people around me as well as my circumstances. My physical features were one of the biggest battles I faced, personally and externally. I hated my features. They seemed to go against my native culture. I had a skin tone that was different to the rest of my family, my hair texture was different to theirs too. I felt like an odd ball, and I hated myself for sticking out like a sore thumb.
My upbringing allowed me the privilege of speaking English very well, this led people to assume and conclude my heritage, which always left me dejected and isolated. I found myself in instances where people disliked me merely for the way I looked and spoke and this formed part of the many cracks added to an already fragile and fractured mind. My need to be invisible grew exponentially over the years, where I began to detest any kind of attention.
It got so bad at a point that I would sometimes walk around with a scarf covering my face – my very own makeshift hijab, wanting to hide and cover the features that so readily drew unwanted attention. I didn’t approve of myself so it would make sense that no one else would. It goes without saying that this became a miserable way to live life, and I died slowly daily bit by painful bit. When you honestly believe there is nothing valuable you have to offer , you see very little reason to live.
BUT GOD, came into the scene and flipped the script. My REAL life began when God pulled out a helping hand and reached out to save me. I was in a pit and only had 2 ways out. I could either choose to end it all or lift my hand to His and receive the lifeline He was offering me.
The thing about God is that He doesn’t oppress, coerce, or force our compliance in anyway. That’s what makes the choice so beautiful, if we willingly say yes- wholeheartedly, with no strings attached, He readily gives us a new identity, our identity, that is only found in Him. When we come to the realization that the God of the universe not only made us but finds purpose and value in every single one of us, that changes the way we see ourselves. It also changes how much we expect from others. It replaces our need for the approval of others, with a satisfaction in Him. You start to realize that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Your Creator sees you, and by virtue of being alive, He approves of you too.
‘If they didn’t make you, you shouldn’t lose sleep over it’, that should be our mantra. We give so much power to the opinions of others when in truth it starts and ends with who God says we are.
As someone who keeps learning this truth daily, let me encourage you by saying it’s not always easy to silence the naysayers or seek out the approval of loved ones or colleagues. As humans we desire this from those around us to make us feel good and better about ourselves. However, let us not allow the opinions of others to be the benchmark for the way we see ourselves and how we get through life. If it doesn’t build, encourage, correct, or support us, it’s not worth losing sleep over. If your Maker said it, that trumps everything and anyone else.
Sold Out For Purpose
